Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
