I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize