if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
