i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize