So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
