after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
that is very illegal...i love you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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