so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
