He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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