wake up i wanna do it froggy style
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
