I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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