got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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