I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
