i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
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My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
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what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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