I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
