You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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