Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
