so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
