I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
