Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
