What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
