His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and she was petting her beer can
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
