A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i don't like sucking hair
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
