Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
