I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize