Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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