And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Too much gin, very little bucket
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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