She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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