And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
