spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
