Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
