So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize