Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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