I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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