life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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