That's when you crack a 10am beer
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
