did you get engaged???
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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