i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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