Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
