I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize