I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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