If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
