You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
