I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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