We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
