I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
