Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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