In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
