And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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