Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize