literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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