I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you had me at cake vodka
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
