just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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