quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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