They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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